Simplifying Vital Issues In
“The most annoying part was getting [told] ‘Congrats’ months later and having to tell people ‘Thanks, but actually, no, I ended it,’” Julie says. When in doubt, get a professional opinion. Spending so much time with the same person can cloud your ability to evaluate your dynamic objectively. That’s why Luterman recommends counseling between the engagement and wedding planning no matter where you stand. A therapist might help mitigate the need to call off the wedding, or help decide whether that option is right for you. According to The Knot , couples spend an average of $33,391 on their weddings alone. And most vendors require deposits in advance , so some of that money goes down the drain even before you walk down the aisle. But don’t ride out a toxic relationship just to get your money’s worth. It’s the “sunken cost fallacy”—which states that investments influence our decisions—that’s tricking you, says Luterman. “Remember,” she says, “just because you’ve been with someone until now, it does not make it right to continue to be with them. As painful as it may be for a time, staying unhappy forever is not worth invested time or money.” When calling it off doesn’t feel right, you can always reschedule.
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